Beginners (2010), dir. Mike Mills
Best of Joaquin quotes:
- I’m inherently a blubbering slob, I’m like a shaved hamster. So what? I don’t need to become a famous star.
- My significant other right now is myself, which is what happens when you suffer from multiple personality disorders and self-obsession.
- I don’t try and make girls pronounce my name. I just tell them to call me kitten.
- Believe me it’s hard to find a woman who will walk up to you and find you really attractive. It doesn’t happen very often. But if you meet anybody who likes me, please say hi and thanks.
- I grew up nervous.
- People yell at me in traffic. ‘I’m vexed! I’m terribly vexed!’
- I hate talking about my movies. Why does anyone think I know what they’re about?
- The state of movies and what’s going into production at the moment is painful. It’s horrifying. Goddamn, people have bad taste. There’s no poetic way of saying it: these movies suck. Bad movies are being produced at an alarming rate. No one had any fucking balls. It’s wild.
- You know, I want to be a fucking hedgehog on the fucking Discovery Channel and they have cameras in my burrow and home and that’s that. That is what I’m after.
- I’m so sick and fucking tired of every single actor with their six pack and how it’s just a standard. You just don’t see people in movies without sculpted bodies with their shirts off unless they’re meant to be some heavyweight redneck, and then they go the other extreme. It’s bothersome because I just don’t think it really reflects real people. I actually had an agent at one point — who I’m no longer with — sit me down and say, ‘You should go to the gym, our body is part of your work.’
- It seems I have to choose between dark films with social relevance or a goofy popcorn piece of shit. I’m always looking for a fantastic slapstick comedy. Most of what we call comedy in America is just ridiculous.
- Traditional male leads are just so fucking boring. Everyone must like this person, everyone must think this person is gorgeous, everyone must want to love this person, everyone must want to be loved by this person. All that shit. We’re dealing with a medium where you have 95 minutes in which to tell a story, so generally they go, “John Whatever is THE NICE GUY. And Tony Blah-Blah-Blah is THE BAD GUY. And this is the wife…’ And I’m like, “Well, can’t the good guy yell at his kids and tell them to shut up? And can’t the bad guy also be capable of great love?’ They could have the hero driving and cursing at the person he’s stuck behind because he’s caught in traffic and pissed off, but they won’t do that. The hero literally has to save everyone, including the cat. And that’s fucking ridiculous!
- Interviewer: There are all these websites dedicated to you. Have you seen those? Joaquin: I actually created all of them.
- What I really hate doing is TV: 12 interviews in an hour pretending to be Oh-So-Fresh, which I’m not.
- (In a restaurant talking about a waitress having a bad day) I want to give her a hug. Should I? I’ll just tell her I want to give her a hug, right? Is that too weird?
- (A waitress asks if there’s anything else he’d like) Just a side order of love. That would be great.
- I stayed in LA because I want to drive it (1972 Pontiac LeMans)…and yeah, it’s yellow, but you know how much a paint job costs? I don’t care how many times I hear someone yell ‘TAXI!!’
- Who would ever have thought that I would win in the comedy or musical category? Not expected.
- I had a Catholic girlfriend but she wouldn’t, uh, share loving.
- I’ve made up so many stories about my name I can’t remember.
"Axe in Infinity," "Fallacies," "Clawing Through Agony"…